Stupidity CRITIQUE PLZ

“Hello. My name is Elizabeth, but I go by Eli. And I... I am apparently addicted to stupidity.”

“Hi, Eli,” the group of tired looking individuals answer back in the most monotone voice.

If there were such a thing as Stupidity Anonymous, I would absolutely for sure be in it and that's how my first meeting would go. Or so I imagine.

Right now? I'm hiding. In the forest/woods/whatever that is basically my backyard. See, my town is on the edge of this forest. It's a fairly decent sized town. Big paper industry. I mean, obviously. But as I was saying, I am hiding in the woods.

That probably sounds really odd. Why would a 17-year-old girl be hiding in the woods behind her house? Although I suppose if I were playing hide-and-seek, it would make sense. But I'm not. So it probably makes no sense to you.
Basically, I have a tendency to do stupid things. Hence Stupidity Anonymous. Anywho, these woods have this strange calming effect on me and there's this random clearing that I know about that acts as my safe place.

I know, I know. You don't even have to say it. I am an odd duck.

Quack.

But the stupid things I do? Oh, you know. I have a tendency to speak without thinking, do things without thinking, stuff like that. For a straight-A honors student, I don't think a lot. And my most recent lapse of not thinking? I kissed the guy I've secretly been in love with for about a year. And he has a girlfriend.

* * *

We were at a party. Just some random person's house that was all, “Omg you shud commme!” I showed up with Cassie, my best friend since forever. Our favorite thing about parties is making fun of the drunk people. We don't actually drink, but it's really funny to watch the stupid people that do. Although at this party, the booze wasn't out yet. Or else it hadn't been brought yet. That didn't stop a handful of people from getting their pre-party drink on, though.

One of those pre -party drunks stumbled into me as I made my way through the front hall of the house with Cassie.
“You wanna get a drink?” he slurred out, holding up a fake ID.

Cassie and I looked at it and tried not to laugh. “Are you 20-years-old?” I asked.

He got a confused look and Cassie had to turn away to keep the laughter in.

“The year is wrong,” I told him. “According to the year on this, you're not 21. You're only 20.”

It took him a second, attempting to do the math in his drunken head before it dawned on him. He gave an “aw, crap!” as he grabbed the ID back and stumble-ran to one of his friends.

Cassie and I let out the laughter we were holding in.

“Oh my god!” she laughed. “You could totally see him crossing his eyes from trying to do the math. Drunk people are the best!”

“Was it really the wrong year?” a voice asked.

I turned around. Sam. Oh, Sam, of my year long affections that are secret to everyone but Cass. Why must you look so cute in the dim party lights?

“Yeah,” I told him, still laughing a little. “You'd think if you were going to all the trouble of getting a fake ID, you'd at least want to get the year right.”

“Yeah.”

There was an awkward silence as I noticed his long time girlfriend wasn't hanging on his shoulder. Which was odd because she's always hanging on his shoulder and fawning all over him and preening and... Yeah. I'm not too fond of Kaylee.

“So where’s Kaylee?”

He shrugged. “She’s around here somewhere, I guess.”

“Oh. Okay.” Awkward silence again. For talking about his girlfriend, he sure seemed nonchalant.

“Um, anyways, I think we’re gonna go to the kitchen and find something to drink,” I said, turning towards where Cassie was standing. “...Erm. Actually, I’m gonna go to the kitchen and try to find Cassie. Because she was here just a minute ago and now she’s not.”

“I’ll go with,” Sam offered. “I could use something to drink, too.”

“If you mean alcohol, I’ll kill you.”

“I mean Coke.”

“Okay, then. Good. Yeah. To the kitchen.” If it turns out the dim lights can’t hide my face of “oh God why is this so much more awkward than usual,” I don’t know what can.

I think the lack of Kaylee was throwing me off. In the whole time they’ve been dating, I’ve never talked to Sam at a party without Kaylee by his side. Sure, I’ve talked to him in school without her there, but that’s school. A party is completely different.

Luckily, I spotted Cassie by the fridge.

As I practically pushed her into the hallway, she immediately asked, “What’s going on?”

“Oh my God, I don’t know!” I cried. “It’s me, it’s Sam, it’s oh my God I don’t even know.”

“Eli, calm down,” Cassie said, reassuringly. She’s good at stuff like that. “What’s the deal with Sam?”

“I don’t know! Usually I can talk to him so easily! That’s half the reason I like him! But tonight it’s the most awkward, silence-filled conversation ever and I don’t know what’s going on! Augh!”

“I think... I think you’re just over-thinking everything.”

“Ugh. Probably. Either way, help me avoid him so I don’t do something awkward or stupid. Because you know that’s bound to happen.”

And so began my attempt to avoid Sam. AHEM. Fail.

* * *

To make a long, stupidity-filled story short, I couldn’t avoid him. He managed to corner me by the stairs. Luckily, he started talking about the bad music playing. Music is my safe topic in the sense that I always have something to say about it. I love arguing about music.

And then... I don’t even know what happened. We were arguing about whether or not rap was real music and... He kissed me. Or I kissed him. Oh my God, I don’t even know. All I know is that he kissed me and I looked up and saw Kaylee staring. And then Sam saw her and promptly muttered, “crap.”

And so I left Cassie at the party and drove home. As fast as I could without getting a ticket. Because I kissed the guy I’m secretly in love with. And he has a girlfriend.

And all of that leads to me hiding in the woods in the fetal position.

* * *

“Hey.”

I looked up. “How the heck did you find me here?”

Sam shrugged. “For someone who, according to you, hates all people, your sister is really easy to bribe.”

Melinda. My 15-year-old, stick of a sister is the only person who knows about my safe place besides me.

“Augh... I’m going to kill Mel when I get home,” I muttered, clenching my fists.

“Or not.”

“Huh?”

“How could I tell you Kaylee’s not my girlfriend anymore if Melinda didn’t tell me where you were?”

I looked at him, dumbfounded. “Wait. You broke up with Kaylee? When?”

“Uhh... Yesterday,” he said, sheepishly.

“So I’m a rebound?” I groaned.

“No! Not at all! Eli, let me explain.”

“Fine. Explain. But I’ll have you know I am officially angry with you now,” I said, crossing my arms.

“Ahem. Kaylee and I officially broke up yesterday. But for the past month, we’ve both realized that kissing each other is now like kissing a sibling. It’s just weird and we don’t love each other that way anymore. We’re better off friends than boyfriend and girlfriend. And so we finally made it official yesterday. But it’s felt unofficial for awhile.”

“But what about Kaylee? At the party?”

“She was just a little bit surprised. I got a chance to talk to her and she’s totally fine with it. Oh, and I gave Cassie a ride home. ‘Cause you left her, and all.”

“Aw, crap. Thanks for that.” I stared at the ground. “So what happens now?”

“What do you want to happen?” he asked.

I looked up at him, trying to sort my thoughts. “Okay. Here’s the deal. I like you. I’ve liked you for awhile. But with you just breaking up with Kaylee, this is weird. I don’t care if you’ve felt broken up for awhile. It’s weird. Give me a month to adjust, and I am totally your girlfriend.”

He smiled at me. “I think I can do that.”

And so here’s to waiting for the month to hurry on faster. And here’s to hoping I do nothing stupid in the next month. Like kissing the guy I like.

Author's Note
Another thing written for creative writing. We had to write on three seperate slips of paper a setting, a character, and one line of dialouge. And then we had to put them into piles and draw.

So these are the things I drew:
Character - Melinda, 15 years old, doen't like to talk to people, tall, brown hair and eyes.
Setting - a forest becauseit's quiet and calm and nature is all around (or however that person phrased it)
Dialouge - "Are you 20 years old?"

So yeah. This is the version I turned in and hopefully it's not too crappy. The rough draft was way worse, though. I actually managed to get this to be fairly decent, although it's still not my favorite thing I've written.

I have a poem I need to post,
Keegan <3